We met in one of the most unlikely, unpleasant places but you’ve become one of my life long companions. I didn’t choose you but you chose me. You remind me of one of those abusive partners, constantly screaming at me. Sometimes you change your tone and I can almost bear you. That doesn’t last long, you return with a vengeance. Not letting me enjoy my social life or look forward to anything anymore, making it hard to sleep and when I do nod off it’s out of exhaustion from listening to you.
You are always there, constantly reminding me of your presence. 2am, 2pm, yes you are there. You abducted my self-esteem for a while and almost my sanity but that didn’t last long! You don’t have a clue what it’s like to be silent and are making sure I will never know what that means again either. You took away the peaceful existence I could achieve when I decided I needed to disappear for a while, to escape the everyday stresses.
In the most beautiful surroundings you are there reminding me you’ll never be quiet.. you brought along your double D friends to join you.. deafness and dizziness. Those I can handle, live with and most days see humour in. Even when they make me feel socially inadequate and embarrassed at times.. but you.. you are a complex, devious beast to control. Inside my head torturing me on days and easing off on others.. but one thing I promise you.. I am a hard one to break! I’ve tried all sorts to get rid of you, needles poked in my neck and head at an attempt to destroy you but you are not having any of it.
You are here to stay so I’ll smile through your high pitch shrieks because that’s what I do.
Tinnitus.. you changed my life over night but lets head onwards & upwards for our own sake and the sake of others.
P.S. Keep the volume down!