Today’s Thoughts

seedAt some point in our lives, every single one of us is going to experience loss. At the time it feels like the end of the world. The bereavement of a loved one, the breaking down of a relationship and loss of mental and physical health are all ingredients that could knock the five senses out of even the strongest of us. However, along with the obvious losses one encounters in their life there are also the types of loss that no one talks about much. Many of these appear at a time when we feel powerless. Our self belief, will power, esteem, inner peace, focus and drive become impaired and  the natural thing to feel is self pity, and that is ok. One may encounter feelings of hurt, anger, deprivation,frustration, guilt and failure and this is where things start getting gloomy. We may beat ourselves up and repeat the ‘what ifs’ and ‘should haves’ in our head over and over again but the question is…will this change anything? While torturing ourselves with thoughts of the past or even expectations for the future we tend to forget the now, and what is now looking like? Now is looking pretty damn bleak. Now is a time of struggle, of questioning, of sometimes helplessness but that can’t last and shouldn’t last! How about accepting the pain, however difficult it may be, allowing the loneliness to run it’s course and identify that this is something that is going to get easier and will eventually pass. Let that time which you call ‘abandonment’ be the moment you learn to know, I mean really know yourself. Allow those episodes of isolation be transformed into ones of reflection. Understand that one must acknowledge and face pain and loss because that is part of life. Once we become aware of it, it is then that we can start our journey of recovery. Through experience, whether challenging or wonderful, we grow and that is so exciting! These incidents make us who we are. They mould us, develop us and educate us on how to live and that is extraordinary. Life is not all butterflies and flowers, life is hard, but when we challenge that fact and face it head on, we empower ourselves to make that change. We may often ask ourselves why and how things happen. In reality no one can answer that. It is the natural quest of life. With all this said there is so much to be gained from loss! This may sound bizarre but let’s look at things from another perspective. Where there is loss there has to be gain. When passing through troublesome times, this is where true beauty reveals itself. Love, kindness and generosity reveal themselves in the most unlikely places. That extra smile that is passed your way which somehow makes your day, is a miracle. The abundance of  love and patience the people around you show becomes exceptional. The hugs that before somehow seemed uncomfortable, unnatural and empty, transform themselves into deep, true, honest, caring embraces. Those who may have just been friends for years become family, looking out for one another and encouraging each other to hold their chin up and walk proud. These are the miracles of loss. Through burying a seed in the dirt, somewhere dark and alone, the watering of others and the abundance of sunlight make them grow. Some seeds may need some time in the soil detached from the beauty happening outside their constrictions but once they are ready they will sprout. They will show their timid self, uncertain of how far to reach out yet slowly accepting what is there waiting for them. Taking their time, slowly learning to trust what is out there and then within a split second BOOM, they blossom into the divine flowers they were destined to be. From then on, these flowers become the focus of positivity, the reason why the garden looks so colourful and an addition to the beauty of its surroundings……

One thought on “Today’s Thoughts

  1. Hey Kay, there’s a book called “A Man’s Search for Meaning.” Viktor Frankl revisits his time in a concentration camp. He talks about how people who have a why in their life can endure any how. And that how he ultimately survived the holocaust. He had a reason to stay alive (love for his wife, desire to pursue his studies and passions) so he rolled with the punches. What really struck me though is the sense of dignity he had when facing suffering. Too often in life we seek happiness, but that’s just as fleeting as suffering. So I guess it’s all about wading through these different emotions and finding fulfillment. After all spring can only stem from winter 🙂


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